nstar

the truth could be a bitch, but if the boot fits

You can tell yourself you don’t want it, but you do.
But if you can’t have it either way your wants spin. Then the tables gotta turn.

don't trip off me, I'm a work in progress

You open up to someone, and it’s done. Letting your guard down induces some kind of emotional connection, and there’s no faking it. If you’re comfortable sharing the best and worst pieces of yourself, a particular gap is bridged unique to your typical friendship. Then it’s just something else you can’t explain anymore.

But stepping back, I look at what’s done is done and ask, what’s really real?

Can’t stress how hesitant I am to let my guard down. I’ve crossed paths with opportunities, people offering me an ear, a shoulder, arms, warmth, heat,.. haha. But none of that matters when I got walls built. I’m a work in progress: Figure out how to break through, when to do so, and who deserves it.

Frequently asked question: What is OMTHOTO?

pardonmyswag:

intensive:

Ow, my tummy hurt on that one / Oh, my tummy hurt on that one.
Courtesy of Roxanne’s brother’s friend, that’s a girl, rofl. ahhaa.

Hahaha! Hell yeah. I prefer the second one. But yawwwlready know boutta make this shit biiiiig.

I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!! HAHAHA! OMTHOTO GIRL, YOU KNOW WASSUP.

And how cool, I’m Roxanne’s brother’s friend that’s a girl. Dope!

Come to think of it: All of you are bad ideas.

This is why I’m moving to the next best monastery so I could practice the art of being a nun. Yup. If you have a penis, get it away from me cause I don’t wanna talk to you.

I have the cutest mom ever in life.

Here she goes, off to the philippines, and I have work the night she departs. GREAT! But I came home to a card with a bill and a long ass message… at the end she writes:

P.S. Can you be a mommy temporarily and do my chores? :) Thanks! Anyway, this is all what I do:
cleaning, cooking, laundry, dishes, grocery, watering plants, feeding husband and kids, praying for family, etc, etc, etc… (OK, just pick 2 or 3)

Haha. She’s too funny. And oh wow perfect… little nikki cindestrella has to play mommy for the next month. As if I don’t already gotta babysit my 23 year old brother right? Someone throw me a damn bone.

frustrated sad irritated discouraged pressured disappointed

This is hella negative. BUT FUCK. You give me every reason to feel lost and unmotivated, and you know exactly what you’re doing when you do it. Never once have I given up on you, letting you run free while you find your “self-motivation” wherever the fuck you laid that to rest, but you’re a lost cause. Fine, count your accomplishments on one hand and be happy, but don’t expect me respect you. Don’t expect me to hold your hand and be your support, cause I never asked you for anything, not help, not guidance, not anything. If you ask me to waste my time and my money on your life and your wants one more time, fuck it. You just lost the only thing that believed in you.

I grew up faster than I should have because you couldn’t. No matter how many times you brush shoulders with a reality check. You will never change.

coffee and a side of inquisition.

“Don’t go chasin.”

Act like you don’t give a make love, yet show that you care enough to see them smile. This is the fine line between annoyance and enticement. Do too little, you get no where. Do too much, it’s the same thing.

Every good beginning has a great hook…

strength speaks

You know I’m all for female strength, girl power, yada yada… like I can protect myself. But a girl’s gotta know that her man can stand up for her. If a girl feels like she is protected at all times with her man, then it’s a major plus. If she feels she needs to double up her own strength in times of need, it’s looking so, so bad sir..

You wouldn’t be the safety net, you’d be the pillar.

And she’ll go for the one that’s not a gentleman because he knows he has to be, but the one that’s a gentleman cause he simply is. Etiquette is nothing if it ain’t genuine. 

So what’s really real?!?!